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Posts Tagged ‘femininity’

Lets for the sake of argument stick to the two main genders, that of men and women. It’s a simplification, but sometimes that is necessary to make a point.  Just how much of being a man is defined by women and how much of being a women is defined by men?

I’ve already talked about how evolution probably ensured that females prefer males with sufficient resources (e.g. money), while males prefer females with healthy reproductive systems (health, youth, beauty). But this is just the biological side of things, there is also the social and cultural aspect we call gender.

Sometimes I get the impression that a lot gender identity revolves around what the other gender thinks of it. Otherwise we would seeing much greater diversity, because everyone would assume their ideal identify. Instead there is this almost binary system with relatively small groups of people that have broken out of this binary system, probably because it was suffocating for them.

We have words/labels for roles that the two genders are supposed to play, it’s called masculinity and femininity. The boundaries are not so strict as they used to be, this is at least partially due to 2nd wave feminism. The boundaries for a men are still greater then they are for women, masculine behaviour by women is more accepted than feminine behaviour by men.

I’ve talked about how women (when still young and fertile) have some power to demand things from men, at least in general, there will always be men who don’t care about what women want. The reproductive resources that women possess, which are the limiting factor in human reproduction,  have historically forced men to adjust to the needs of women in order to obtain them.

It’s possible that women have simply taken a part of masculinity when they wanted it and men are still looking at women for what to do. While I cannot claim to have information that represents every women on this planet, there are at least some signs that women on average don’t like extremely feminine men and the more she relies on the man (in the provider and protector sense) the greater the preference for masculine men.

I would encourage men and women to be open to the possibility that a better balance can be found if one is not afraid to look outside their own gender box. First find your own balance, then you can worry about interactions with the opposite sex.

There are plenty of biological differences and it doesn’t hurt to be aware of those differences, but the differences that gender create are not innate and make the already existing differences even larger then they already are. I wonder what a world without fixed ideas about gender would look like.

This is all for now, if you have any thoughts to share, you are more than welcome to comment.

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